


Awkward Moments: Final Fantasy XV Style

by RynnDuthane



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Awkwardness, F/M, I hope this is funny, Pole Dancing, baby scorpion, gladio likes teasing you, ignis is full of surprises, you hate coffee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:44:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RynnDuthane/pseuds/RynnDuthane
Summary: One ChickA Man with tattoosA Man with frecklesA insanely lazy PrinceAnd one tall mother fuckerThrow is some scorpions and what do you get?A series of fucking Awkward Moments!( My rewrite of 'Awkward Moments' hopefully this one is better, and I'll be doing this for other fandoms as well, cuz I fucking love this! )





	1. Mama Bug

**Author's Note:**

> Sup my bitches
> 
> Here is the first chappie of the rewrite, I will update as I wish.   
> But I hope you enjoy and I hope it makes you laugh, please do tell me what you think.
> 
> Oh! And excuse spelling and grammer mistakes, I'm writing this shit on my phone.

This was just your damn beautiful luck. 

Firstly, you get dragged along onto this damn trip with his royal lazyness, Noctis Lucis Caelum, and his etourage. Prompto was fun to be around but Gladio was a plain asshole.

Secondly, Ignis was blunt as fuck, about everything. Saying that you shouldn't go on hunts when your on your period, you'd get them all killed due to the smell of blood, and that you should invest in a sports bra so you wouldn't ' bounce ' as much.

Thirdly, your forced to share tent, which was ment for 2 people max, with 4 full grown, and by the Six do they all SMELL! 

Gladio always smells like Noodle and testosterone, wich kind of makes your ovaries shrivel up like a prune

Iggy smells like a bucket of spices and ebony, your teeth gets coffee stains by just looking at him

Prompto smells like chocobo and suntan lotion, it made you have flashbacks of summer camp....eww

And his royal highness reeks of fish and sweets, it just didn't do your nostrils any good

You swore that it was the very essense of their soul as the scent had been glued onto them since evern before you guys left Insomnia.

Fourthly, You were a god damn woman, travelling with 4 god damn men, 4 sinfully hot man. You dounbted you were their type, but a girl can imagine.

But the worst of all, the absolute, most terrible, complete awfully horrible insanely WORST of all, was this morning!

*Morning time*

3 Weeks, you've been on this trip for 3 weeks, your back was begging you for an actual back, your hair was begging for shampoo, and your tongue missed the flavour of your favorite tea. You couldn't stomach another cup of fucking coffee. But right now you would settle for a bed, literally anything with a matress, and so you decided that it was time for a Motel.

You figured the boys felt the same so you pitched the idea and sure enough they agreed, except for one problem. 

Money

You barely had enough for half a motel room, and even if you did you still needed enough for food, gas, potions, etc. There was no shortage of hunts avaliable so making Gil was no problem, but the hunts avaliable didn't even offer enough reward money to pay for a cup of coffee........sweet Shiva, no coffee jokes, too soon.

Regardless of the shit money offered, you and the guys still took on a few of them to gain some extra Gil, it would all pay off once you rested your back on a matress and get to be reunited with a shower. A glorious, glorious shower.

And what stood between you and that shower was a Reaperking, this sucker was a pain in the ass, refusing to die no matter how much you stabbed him, unlike the other 5 who were way too easy to kill. But you did it, you managed to get this bastard down, and you stood victoriously above the creature, panting, you were nearly thrown forward when a large hand suddenly landed on your hunched back, knocking the air out of your lungs.

" Nice foot work [Name]! Your pretty damn fast "

You gave a side ways glance towards the Shield, trying to catch your breath as the large man grinned at you, your eye twitched a little at his size, you were shorter them all, you even had to look up at Prompto.

" Obviously, whatcha think? That I'd be slow like his royal lazyness over there? "

Whipping your head towards the direction of the panting Royal off to your right, said blue blood lifted his gaze to you with a slight offended look on hios face.

" Hey! "

You moved your gaze towards the Raven haired man with a small, sly grin of your own, the Prince was hunched over with his hands resting on his knees, Besides him was his freckled bestfriend, whom was happily scrolling through the pictures on his camera, how this chocobo loving boy managed to shoot ( without ever missing ), throw in some stylish moves AND take pictures inbetween amazed you.

Ignis had moved over towards Noctis and strated checking the prince over for any injuries he might have. Your sly grin dissapeared from your face as you saw Noctis's sapphire colored eyes go wide and a glimmer of panic slipping into them as he moved to reach out towards you.

" [Name]! Look out! "

Before you could react to Noctis' warning you felt a rather sharp and painful sting in your lower abdomen, you cried out in a mixture of surprise and pain. 

In an blur of moments your body went numb as your fell backwards, bullets started flying through the air again and the distinct battle cry of Gladio ringed through your ears.

Turns out the Reaperking wasn't as dead as you belived.

Your head started feeling stuffy as it started to spin, your eyes felt larger then they acturally were, and your insides were burning. After making sure the creature was fully dead the boys were at your side, Gladio had you cradled in his arms and then in the back seat of the Regalia within a matter of seconds, you remember him shouting at Ignis for an antidote and then hum cursing when there were non, were you poisoned? If so then they were definantly over reacting, you had been poisoned before and you were fine, sometimes you didn't even take the antidote, why were they suddenly acting as if your limbs were falling off?

And you would think that would make Gladio handle you with care, instead of just tossing you into the back seat and nearly slamming your foot in the door.

Being shoved into the back seat of the Regalia wasn't a very nice feeling, the leather seemed to just fall inlove with your skin as it decided to grab hold of it and not let go, even as a layer of sweat started to form over your skin, did they just turn the heat on?

Your head was carefully lifted and placed onto someone's lap, their long fingers pushing away the strands of [H/C] hair from your face, they used a cool, moist cloth to wipe the sweat from your forehead

" [Name], can you hear me? "

Your eyes managed to gain some focus as you looked down towards your feet where where Ignis sat, your [E/C] eye's looking into his moss green ones, your wet your lips and gave a small nod.

" Yeah Iggy. But what the hell is going on? "

When the Driver seats door slammed shut you felt panic settle into your bones, Ignis was here in the back with you, by your feet, looking up you were met with Gladio's worried face as your head rested in his lap, and with a small tilt to the side you saw Noctis in the passanger seat, so that meant....oh sweet Shiva, oh fucking Ifrit!

Prompto was going to drive

Did they want you to die!?

" Iggy! Aren't you suppose to be the responsible one!? Do you not remember what happened last time Pr- "

" [Name] "

Your head snapped back towards the Advisor and your mouth slammed shut as you met Ignis' intense gaze, his pretty green eyes staring intensely into your [E/C] ones, a serious expression on his face, more so then usual

" It's not poison "

You gave him a confused look.

" It's not? "  
Ignis shook his head

" No, this may sound a little weird but you've been....well....inseminated "

You stare at the advisor and blink

" What? "

" Reaperkings reproduce by injecting females with their fertile eggs "

You stare at him, your confusion still in place

".....what? "

Ignis sighed and adjusted his glasses

" You were injected with fertile eggs and they are taking hold in your womb...growing "

You shift your gaze from him down to your stomach, as you lifted your shirt up away from the injury your mind cleared up a bit, if it was poison then the area around the injurt would be lumpy and green, but it wasn't, there was no color change, and there was a bump forming, but it didn't burn like poison should

Ignis noticed the confused look that was still plastered onto your face and as he started explaing the situation over again, with more detail, your eyes blew up like a balloon.

" I'm pregnant with a fucking scorpion!? "

The sandy blonde man gave you a short not, confirming your terror.

" Yes, we must it remove quickly, the eggs grow and hatch within a matter of hours. And once they hatch they will start eating their way out from inside you "

Remove? How the fuck were you going to remove these things!? 

A unatural and chilling imagine of you giving birth to a cat sized scorpion flashed infront of your eyes, a shiver running down your spine.

Your question, however, was answered when Ignis summoned one of his daggers, was he going to cut you open? With PROMPTO behind the fucking wheel!? 

Your face went both pale and then bright red as Ignis used his dagger to cut your pants off from your body.

" I-I could have j-just taken them off "

Ignis turned his gaze up to you

" If you change the angle of your hips then the eggs could role around "

Eww

Ignis managed to hook your knee over his shoulder without changing your angle too much, you tightly grabbed hold of Gladio's hands and he gave yours a reasurring squeeze.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you felt the blade sink into your skin

Ignis moved the blade around and tried getting the eggs but was unsucessful, he frowned and tried again, you could feel the blade wiggeling around inside you, as well as the eggs growing and starting to move.

With a frustrated grunt Ignis removed the blade and took his gloves off, he gave Gladio a look which had the shield hold you even tighter.

A gasp broke past your lips as you felt Ignis' finger slip inside you, and not through the cut mind you.

Using his free hand to push down on your abdomen you could see a very vissable and odd shapped bump.

" Do not move "

You laid dead still as Ignis went about trying to remove the eggs from your woumb, it wasn't a very pleasing feeling, but it almost paid off when Ignis pulled out one of the eggs, it was about as big an an eraser and you could see a little dark creature moving inside the egg

" Gross "

Ignis tossed the egg out of the window and you released a breath of relief, but the bump was still there, a slowly getting bigger, you locked eyes with Ignis.

" H-How many a-are there? "

" To be honest, I have no idea, it could be anything between 5 and 30 "

Your face palled even more.

30 fucking eggs!?

Gladio gave your hand another squeeze and lifted your head so you could look up into his amber eyes

" Don't worry Cherry, just focus on me and relax ok? "

Prompto, who had been driving like a maniac high on sugar and coffee, hit a bump in the road which caused Ignis to brush up against you, and you in return, let out a very very small, but audible, moan

One that Gladio heard very clearly, if the shit eating grin on his face was any evidence of that, and you were sure Ignis did as well.

Maybe being eaten by scorpions wouldn't be so bad.

 

*that night at camp*

Ignis had removed a total of 18 eggs, it was disgusting, and it burned, and it was disgusting!

You sat in your chair around the fire, between Noctis and Prompto, starring into your cup of coffee ( seriously? Do these men even know there are things like tea? Or fucking hot chocolate....fucking coffee ) 

During the time of the egg removals, the last one had gotten to be the size of a bar of soap, and it would haunt you forever.

Noctis had said and done nothing except stare the entire time.

Prompto was driving as if the Empire was on his ass....I mean they are but you know what I mean.

Gladio had enjoyed it, you could tell, the smug shit.

Ignis had made sure you were alright but was yet to say anything else to you, and you were fine by that.

Your gaze moved over to the Regalia, sweet Shiva, Prompto did one hell of a number on it, the thing just sudddenly died in the middle of nowhere, which is where you were camped now.

The usual chatter about random shit was absent this night, hell, Ignis wasn't even trying to get Noctis to eat his veggies.

This was so fucking awkward


	2. We Need The Money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Regalia busted you need cash for repairs
> 
> Cindy lends a helping hand
> 
> And you get a free show to boot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already had cappie 2 all written out! 
> 
> Once again if there are mistakes then don't judge, I'll see it one day in 2057 and then fix it.

Cindy  
Ah yes, Cindy

From her bouncy blonde hair  
Her pretty blue eyes  
Her yellow jacket  
Her very visable pink bra  
Her thon- I mean shorts  
And of course, the truckers hat

Cindy was indeed a very attractive woman, you won't deny that, you have eyes after all.

But you were a little envious of course, who wouldn't be? She's beautiful, comfortable in her skin, smart and she was sooo nice..............you didn't like her

You didn't hate her, oh no, she was a nice.... Sort of, not really friend, but her name was in about 80% of all your conversations with the guys

Fuck drugs

They had Cindy on the brain, which was just as bad, for you anyways. Even Ignis talked about her, which had you baffled, not because he said anything sexual about her, no, but because he said Cindy reminds him of his mother.

Gladio definantly didn't hide what he thought of Cindy, he was as blunt as Ignis.

Speaking of Gladio

" Ow! "

The large man rubbed the back of his head where you had whacked him with a stick, he turned to look down at you, a pout on his lips

" What was that for? "

You pointed the stick down at his pants, where a tent had started forming.

" For that, you pervert "

A sly smik played avross his features, it made your eye twitch

" Well maybe you could help me with that? "

He leaned down, bringing his face closer to yours, his smirk only widdened as he stared into your [E/C] eye's

" Or, maybe you would prefer Igg- "

Whack

" Ow! "

Too soon Gladio, too soon.

It's only been a week since the scorpion incident, an entire week that you couldn't sleep

Or look Ignis in the eyes without your neither region starting to burn uncomfortably.

You couldn't eat because you kept seeing those damn eggs

And a week of constant, non stop, endless, fucking teasing from the asshole named Gladiolus

In that week, however, the Regalia simply refused to start, so you had pushed the car down the barren road, well, not YOU, Ignis had put you in the driver seat and told you to steer, so the guy's had pushed the car, and you felt slightly guilty. They pushed for hours and hours for 3 days, until, by the grace of the Six, a tow truck came barreling down the road to their rescue.

But you were now in Hammerhead, and the Regalia was now in Cindy's hands to be fixed....again.

The blonde woman let out a whistle as she stalked around the car, her hands behind her back.

" Ya'll sure did do a number on this lil beauty "

Gladio placed his arm on your shoulder and leaned against you, making you grunt as his weight nearly pushed you off your feet.

" Think you can fix it? "

Cindy turned to look at him, folding her arms across her chest, a almost cocky look on her face.

" Of course I can! But aint gonna be easy"

Ignis came to stand beside you, his fingers brushed against your arm, which made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as a shiver ran down your spine, he fixed his glasses as he spoke.

" Which is why we brought it to you, Cindy, if anyone is able to fix the Regalia, it's you "

Cindy gave a small giggle and a bright smile towards the adviser, placing her hands behind her head as she winked at him.

" No need for flattery sugar, I'll fix up your baby real nice no prob "

The blonde woman shifted her weight to her left, placing her hand on her chin as she directed her gaze back to the car, her other hand coming to rest on the hip. 

" But, the only problem will be the cost, it aint no couch change "

You sighed

You could have figured that out yourself, you were no car expert, but once again, you have eyes.

Scratches, dents, bends, a screeching noise when you tried to turn the ignitions, the gears grinding in the gearbox.

When was something ever cheap when it involved the Chocobros? 

Prompto had been bouncing on the other side of Gladio for a good 10 minutes now, his camera clicking every now and then as he filled another memory card with pictures. He lowered his camera.

" We've been on a few hunt's, I'm sure we can afford it "

You peeked past Gladio at the blonde male

" We could barely afford a motel room with that "

Prompto groaned at the thought of having to go on another hunt, he was exhausted and it was too hot outside. 

" Oh! I know! "

You turned your gaze back to Cindy as she pointed down the road.

" A new Bar is opening tonight! In celebration the owner is having a pole dance contest with a cash prize! It'll be more then enough for the damages and then ya'll can get some motel rooms with the change "

Your stomach fell as you instantly felt 4 pairs of eye's on you

You were so not doing this!

*that night*

You can't believe you were doing this! 

Earlier the guys had shoved you into a bathroom, a bag of make-up and clothes were then shoved into your arms before the door was slammed shut in your face. Having looked through the clothing you had a sneaking suspicion it was all sponsored by Cindy.

Now, here you were, walking towards the bright lights of the new bar in the distance, a pair of strapped heels on your feet, your legs on full display in the booty shorts, and a sheer bustier top showing off your twins for the world to see. Noctis had been a gentlemen and gave you his jacket to cover up until you hit the stage.

" Do I have to do this? "

" Sorry Cherry, but we need the money "

Gladio gave you a pat on the back, he was so not sorry.

Theses damn heels were going to leave blisters all over your feet, and theses shorts made Cindy's look like sweat pants, and it was cold....it was so cold.

Gladio kept commenting on your apperance, those very comments had the pair of bestie's laughing and left Ignis with a dissaproving look, but you swear you saw him crack a smile.

Walking up to the brightly lit bar you became nearvous, this wasn't your type of thing, but you couldn't even back out, even if you did then one of the guys would just haul your ass back here, so taking a deep breath you pushed through the door

And stopped dead in your tracks.

The wall's were diffrent shades of pink

The tables had flower center pieces

Crystals hung from the cieling

Portriats decorated the walls

And dozens of women filled the bar

The neon sign that hung on the wall behind the bar counter were formed into cursive letters reading-

' Madame Star - Lady Bar '

A deliciously evil and satisfying feeling filled your body.

You turned to look at the boy's, Ignis had easily figured it out, your sure Gladio did as well but he didn't seem to care that much, Prompto however, look as confused as a penguin in the dessert. 

" What's the matter Prompto? Haven't you been to a Lady's Bar? "

The blonde looked even more confused, so Ignis decided to step in.

" It is a bar for strictly women only "

" So....like a lesbian bar? "

" No, a lady's bar is for anyone who identifies as a woman, there is normally no 'picking up chicks' at these bars. And it would seem that the participents for tonights event are men only "

Prompto's face went a little whitter as he tried to back out the door, but Gladio managed to grab both him and Noctis, dragging the Duo towards the sign up sheets.

" Come on you 2, let's see if my training paid off "

Ignis gave a sigh and followed the larger man.

Your spotted a patch of familiar blonde hair, who actually waved you down. With a small smile you headed over towards Cindy and took a seat across from her in a booth.

" Hey there missy! How ya likin the bar? "

" It's nice, why didn't you say it was a Lady's Bar? "

" Well if I did then there's no way those men would have agreed to it "

Cindy flagged down a waitress and ordered 2 drinks off the special menu as she spoke to you, as the waitress left you spoke up.

" But then why did you give me these clothes? "

" Shoot darling, you deserve to relax and look good doing it! "

The waitress brought the drinks and Cindy took them, handing one to you, the 2 of you shared a smile and clicked your glasses together.

Ok, Cindy wasn't that bad.

You placed your drink down as the lights in the bar dimmed down, a series of lights shot on and the stage lit up, a woman stood on the stage dressed in a sparkly dress, she looked to be in her early fourties.

" Good evening ladies, and welcome to the opening of my Lady Bar, I am Madame Star, and oh my do we have one hell of a line up for you ladies. 32 scrumptious looking men "

Some women cheered and clapped, Madame Star leaned in as if she was going to whisper something.

" I had a peek behind stage, and you definantly won't be dissapointed "

A few more women cheered and wolf whistled, even Cindy joined in. You gave a small giggle as you watched Madame Star moved off to the side and announced the first dancer, a guy wearing a farmer outfit.

Let the show begin.

You watched as men came out, strutting their stuff, Madame Star shouting out their stage names, Cindy wolf whistled and cat called as the men showed off what they had.

" Next up we have number 9! The Gardener! Oh I bet you ladies would love to have him trim your hedges! "

Gladio finally came onto stage wearing a gardner overal, a utility belt with various gardening tools hung from his hips, the music was blasting through the speakers as he strut and did his stuff. He didn't seem to mind it one bit, showing off his tattoo, his muscles, and his wanna be moves.

Gladio locked eyes with you and he sent you a air kiss, you rolled your eyes but smiled non the less, he gave you a wink before ending his preformance and heading back stage.

The women cheered and clapped as he left, Madame Star going about announcing the next dancer.

Gladio wasn't half bad, maybe he could win, the prize money would be so sweet right now, your back was still begging for a mattress, and you so bandly wanted to give in to its pleas.

A few more people came up after Gladio, a clown, a plumber, a fireman, even a maid. 

It was glorious

" Next up! A Duo at number 21! It's Naughty or Nice! "

Noctis came out onto stage wearing a angel outfit, he looked bored, as he usually did, a shy looking Prompto following behind him, wearing a little devil outfit.

You gave your own wolf whistle

Gladio's training was definantly paying off

But their costume idea was stupid

You tapped your foot along to the beat of their song as they did their preformance, it wasn't anything major, Prompto managed to get some moves in and started to actually enjoy it, Noctis was even adding some moves at the pole, really working it.

As their preformance came to an end they gave a bow before leaving the stage, the women in the bar giving them a round of applause.

One by one, more men came out and the end of the show was approching, you wondered if Ignis would take part but you doubted it, knowing that he was rather shy about showing that much skin. You shrugged your shoulders and finished your drink.

" Alright Ladies! Last and certainly my favorite, we have our very own chef! Its about to get hot in here! "

Insert spit take

Ignis!?

You stared with wide eyes as the tall man came walking out onto stage, wearing a appron, booty shorts, and a mushroom hat.

Your jaw dropped during his preformance, he definantly wasn't shy tonight, throwing in poses, showing off his long limbs, he even did a few spins and dips at the pole, and the women were loving it, they were practically drooling.

As his preformance came to an end he locked eyes with you and you felt your heart start to pound in your chest, the look he gave you was something you haden't seen before, it made your face heat up and your breathing quicken, he gave you a wink before turning and leaving the stage, leaving you a little breathless.

Uhhh, what the fuck was that?

" Oh yeah! What a show! Alright ladies time to vote! "

The waitres came around to each table and handed everyone a blank card and a pen, writing down the name of their favorite preformer before handing it back to the waitress.

Madame Star received all the cards in the end and counted the votes.

" Your votes are in! And the winner is- "

* At Camp *

" How did you 2 beat me!? "

Gladio was a very sore loser, having come in 7th place tonight, and the besties beating him by taking 4th place.

" Don't be so sour Gladio, I'm just that much more of a chick magnet "

Gladio rolled his eyes at Noct's comment.

" The only thing your a magnet to is a pillow "

" Suuure, atleast I wasn't beat by midget santa "

You sat in your usual spot between the Raven and Blonde, giggling to yourself. Midget Santa had gotten more votes then Gladio, and you were never going to let him live it down. 

You turn to look at Ignis, he sat in his own seat across from you, on the other side of the fire, he hasen't said much, but he kept staring at you, and it made you feel self concious. The Adviser had actually taken first place, it wasn't that much of a surprise, seeing how the women loved his preformance, but it was a little baffeling, I mean come on, its Ignis.

Cindy had said she would start working on the Regalia in the morning, it might take a day or 2, so you and the guys would be renting motel rooms for those few days, catch up on some rest and stock up on supplies.

" [Name], [Name], [Name]! "

" What!? "

Gladio scooted forward

" Tell me you like my preformance better then their's "

The tattooed man pointed at the besties, who had moved off to the side to play their video games, you sighed and stood up.

" Gladio, in all honesty, Midget Santa deserved 3rd place "

You giggled at his offended expresion, gathering your phone and shoes you headed towards the tent.

" Well atleast we know you enjoyed Iggy's, probably staring at his fing- "

Whack

" Ow! Were the fuck did you get a stick!? "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midget Santa is my new favorite thing.
> 
> Don't judge my references, and I have no idea if there even is such a thing is a lady bar, if not then I should open one.
> 
> Anythozals! Chappie 3, I'm having a bit of trouble with it, its not as exciting for me to write, but its getting there.
> 
> Rynn Out!


End file.
